What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 05:37
All the time i was locked up.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Why do I sweat (mostly on face) when I eat usually spicy food?
And i lived it daily.
I will be 64.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Im still living with it.
This is soul school!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
When do you start "growing old"?
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Why is it that women are stronger than men nowadays?
I never cut or harmed myself..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Where did the false claim that Haitian immigrants are eating pets come from?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
What baseball stories from the early days of the sport seem too bizarre to be true?
But, we were locked up after school.
Ive learnt so much.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Reddit user surprised when 1960s computer panel emerged from collapsed family garage - Ars Technica
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She wouldn,t have been !
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Why do so many people find Kakashi's character so appealing and inspirational?
But it wasn’t much.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
What's your wildest & weirdest fantasy?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Put me off passion for life!!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
We were not on the streets..
I waited trembling.
Why am I sweating so much at night even though my room is really cold?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
So whats the point in blame.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Why are you a Muslim? Why is it Islam for you and not something else?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
My life is so biszare .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I could never make a relationship work though!
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I was very sick at this time too.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I was scared of men, in general
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Would this be the day?
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
What did i know ?
I was 9 years of age.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
She was in good health!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
She married twice! .
I think the readers, may guess!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He was dying to do it , i knew.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
(And it was in our own minds.)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
One cannot live in the past .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
She loved him until the end.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
It was going to be , some day.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I don,t even have a pension.
She found it foreign!.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Comes on , in middle age.
When she asked me how she looked .
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i do to all so called friends.?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I write beautiful poetry .
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Was to survive, this bastard.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Who then, do I blame.?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
So, i spoilt her more .
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I couldn’t, believe it.
My family never makes their pension either.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
We all went to grammer schools
I was seconnd youngest,
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I said to her
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Especially a lifetime of it.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I have no regrets .
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He knew the spot.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.